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From the origin of the first human pair, the role of the wife mother can never be undermined.
The man was lonely and alone, the woman was made for him as a helper and a companion.
the holy books have in all respect given women roles of responsibility, roles that when accomplished will bring fulfillment in a family. life on earth can only be complete when the woman adds
or contribute to the procreation circle.The bible for instance recognizes the woman and accords her importance when it said that a man will
leave his father and mother and must stick to his wife and they will be one flesh.
The importance of women is further emphasized by the enormous duties they owe to their family
and the society at large, a woman who fails to fulfill her role in the family will tamper the
joy of the society in a number of ways, to buttress this point, The 26th President of the United States,
Theodore Roosevelt stated:"It is the tasks connected with the home that are the fundamental tasks
of humanity... if the mother does not do her duty, there will either be no next generation, or a
next generation that is worse than none at all."
Being a mother involves more than just becoming pregnant and giving birth to a child, it in
volves, preparedness, readiness, self-sacrifice, commitment and love. the woman must be prepared
for the task of being a wife and a mother because its demanding and time consuming, but its
more fulfilling than any secular work or profession especially when its done right.
She must be ready and expectant when a baby is on the way, the task of raising a baby needs
careful thought and readiness.She must be able to offer herself for her family, her children needs her love and attention
at all times, and the father too needs care love and attention, so she should be willing to
attend to all these needs when they call.
Commitment is needed because the early stage of catering for a family might seem frustrating
especially when things are not clear or going on smoothly in the family.In March 8, 2003, then UN Secretary-General, Kofi Annan said: "Study after study has shown that
there is no effective development strategy in which women do not play a central role. When women
are fully involved, the benefits can be seen immediately: families are healthier and better fed:
their income, savings and reinvestment go up." this statement confirms that the society at large
can never do without our women, so we appreciate you women and also praise your effort.
the roles of Women(Mother) include but are not limited to the following:
1.She takes care of her children and her household
2.she spends more time with the children, so she acts like the teacher, and disciplinarian
during the formative years and the early stages of life.
3.She is the home keeper, though some time women are allowed to work so that the family can
make ends meet, in that case the role of the woman has add up and the family can plan how
to lessen it.
4.She is meant to be a helper or a complement of the man in all areas and circumstances that
that is worthwhile.
5.She builds her home up in love and cares for her household even at the expense of her own
freedom or time.
6.She sets reasonable standards for her children in the absence of her husband.
WHAT SHOULD BE DONE BY THE WOMAN IN THE FAMILY:
Women independence and divorce has been advocated by so many so-called experts, the resultant
effect of it has been an increase in the rate of divorce, family breakup, misunderstanding,
and even a menace to the society.
Women independence advocates that the woman has equal right with the man, and so therefore
shares equal power with her husband whom the originator of marriage asked them to subject
themselves to. though the woman should not be battered, abued, or controlled like a little
baby or a toy, she should also obey and respect her husband as the head of the family.
Women who truly wants to succeed in their given marital assignment, and live a happier
more fulfilled life of accomplishment, will never practice the theory of independence, which
might seem like a rebellious or insubordinate act.
Running a family though challenging, is easy and fulfilling. when the wife plays her role very
well,she gets the credit and joy of it.
WHEN THE MAN IS UNFAITHFUL
In this case, it could be heartbreaking, and tempting. some relationships and marriages crash
when a mate is unfaithful. its always easier for the man to cheat on the woman than otherwise.
we will try to look at the cause, and steps that can be taken to prevent or stop it as the case
may be.though its heartbreaking, but it should not tear the family apart, as the woman try to
reason and figure out what could have led to that unholy act. every man is a potential animal
sorry that i used such a harsh word, it has connotative other than denotative meaning.
what i mean in this sense is, men are easily given to sex, even to people or girls that you would
have thought that they would never have sex it. a man is created with huge urge for sex and love
and when they are offered one free, might find it difficult to resist, some do, but its always
difficult on a ratio of 5 in 100 men can resist serious seduction. these is not an excuse for
the men to go on misbehaving because they could still have resisted the urge or temptation
The possible reasons that can make a man give in to seduction easily might include the
following, though some men have a problem when it comes to sex:
When they are overly starved of sex from their wife. some women when they make demands from their
spouse and due to some reason he was not able to provide or meet their demands, they immediately
deny him of sex till he is able to provide or meet their demands. though this seems like a
peaceful protest, but it can tear a strong family apart. men have a burning and strong desire
for the opposite sex, either for love or sex. men who have been starved and happen to get a
seemingly caring sheerful giver might find solace in her arms and comfort in her bosom. starving
your man is not the answer to the demands you make, but even a potential axe that can tear
your family into shreds. give him some time maybe he doesn't have the means to meet your
immediate demands but he will when you inspite of everything still show him love, care and
respect.
Another likely reason for unfaithfulness might be nagging. some women nag their husbands to
an extent that they are afraid to come home. men love quiet times and cool moment when you
nag and complain or even shout at them, you are indirectly asking them to look for somewhere
else that is cool and quiet. sometimes they will only go to bars and beer parlors, and one
risk with those kind of places are girls without pride who will do anything to gain what you
loose, if you give them the chance, then they will win.
Another reason might be that you are losing your beauty. some women when they marry they
throw all caution to the air, start eating anyhow and adding unnecessary weight, some dont
even put on those sexy things they use to wear that attracted their husbands at first, NO
once you are married does not mean you are always married, this is the time for you to show
him that you are ever young, still that beautiful sweet sixteen he fell in love with, he
might not have any reason to fool around outside his marriage if you possess all he is about
going to look for.Another painful reason is that some men like varieties. those kind of men, no matter how you
look, do or even behave, they still will cheat on you. in such a case, you should not abandon
your home and run, instead you have to make him change without fighting.
When your man is cheating on you, he might not have the courage to look you in the eye, he
might even start avoiding you technically, when you find out he is cheating on you, dont do
anything stupid, dont confront him, dont let him know that you already know he is cheating.
dont act like you careless, still try as hard as you can to show him love and respect, try to
if you can, increase the love you show him, try to appeal to his conscience. if he knows you know
that he is cheating, he wont need to hide or act secretive, his conscience might die and he
will be worse than ever. try to find out his reason for sleeping outside his matrimonial home
and try to figure out how to help him stop this unholy act.
When you have a misunderstanding with your spouse, always take the initiative to sue for peace
apologize, men like being proud, they might not want to make the first move. men act like
babies, to win your man and save your marriage, you must see your man as another of your baby
infact see him as your little baby that needs pampering, care, love, and attention. when you
do, you will for sure reap the benefit in that your husband will always love you and be proud
of you, and i tell you one truth, he will never cheat on you, you know why? because men have
conscience and will find it very difficult to hurt the one that gives off everything to please
them. try hard to ginger your husbands conscience and keep it awake so that he wont ever let
a stranger in.
The above suggestions if applied will surely enhance the love in your marriage, and ensure
you a happy family life.
Saturday, 17 August 2013
How to Maintain Commitment in Your Marriage
What Is Commitment?
Some people think that it springs from a sense of duty but it takes more than that. Commitment can be likened to the mortar that binds the bricks of a sturdy house. Mortar is made from a combination of ingredients such as sand, cement, and water. Similarly, commitment is formed from a combination of factors such as, trust and friendship. But that bond can equally be weakened, lets find out how.
The Challenges:
Commitment in itself requires a lot of hard work, and self Sacrifice, and readiness to forgo your own preferences so to please your mate. Although some might think that the idea of pleasing the other partner than oneself and giving without asking back is outdated and out of fashion, but if your family happiness is important to you, then the principle of self sacrifice will not be option to you. Marriage also demands a lot of hard work and patience, in some cases even marriage mates who are unselfish do not always acknowledge each other anxieties or value their mates sacrifices. it could be disastrous because when a couple fails to show appreciation for each other, their marriage is bound to cause them tribulation in their flesh than it would otherwise. so in other for your marriage to survive hard times and thrive smoothly, you need to develop a long term view of your relationship. But you might be committed to your relationship and your mate is not, so how can you equally make your mate to be committed to the relationship as well?
How To Strengthen Commitment
1). Make Your Marriage A Priority: we all have priorities, and we all equally have scale of preference, to maintain a healthy family life, your marriage should come second to nothing in your overall scale of preference (you can read the bible book of Philippians 1:10) the bible calls it more important thing. God also values the way husband and wife treat each other. And you gain favor from God when you treat each other with respect. Your mate should come first in anything you do in your life. Try and ask yourself, How much time do I set aside for my mate? Ask yourself again, what specific thing have I done to reassure my mate that we are still good friend.The amount of time you invest in your relationship really matters to your mate because it shows how much committed you are to the relationship.
Try and find out from your mate to know how the other partner feels you are taking the relationship, to do this in a practical way, take a piece of paper and write down the following, Money, Work, Entertainment, Marriage, and Friends. Then mark what you believe to be your spouses priorities and ask your mate to do the same, then exchange the list, by so doing you will find out what your mate feels is taking more of your attention, then discuss with your mate to find out if there is a way to make amend that is if something else seems to be taking priorities other than your mate. Also try to find out what catches more of your mate interest in other to make him or her happier.
2) Avoid All Forms Of Infidelity: Try and avoid anything that might lead to unfaithfulness. if we remember the words of Jesus in the Bible book of (matthew5:28)when you keep looking at a woman to have passion for her you have already committed adultery with her in your heart, and that applies to women too. Adultery is a seed, when it is sown in the heart and is regular watered then it becomes fertile, then the heart will be led astray. Pornography is one tool that can lead the heart astray, some think that it is an adult movie, but truthfully, it is a film for young children and youth who are scared of tomorrow. So for you to avoid infidelity in your marriage, you must make a solemn vow never to watch pornography with or without your mate.
Dangers of pornography: It presents women as mere sex toys, and the performances there might be difficult for your mate to carry out, and you may start feeling you married the wrong person because the Bible says that expectation postponed is making the heart sick. So pornography presents a feeling of self worthlessness to the one watching it. So try and make a covenant with your eyes never to view anything displeasing to your mate present or not.
Try and guard your heart from forming an inappropriate attachment to a member of the opposite sex. you might consider it to be a harmless friendship, but remember that you can not tell the other person mind and motive, and secondly, the heart is very deceptive and can lead one astray before one can get hold of his senses.
Ask your self the following questions: To whom am I most attracted to, my spouse or to someone else? With who do I share good news first-my spouse or someone else? if my mate ask me to limit my contact with an associate of the opposite sex, how would I react? would I be resentful or would I happily make the requested change? These and many more are what you ask yourself to evaluate your relationship with anyone other than your mate.
If you find yourself attracted to a member of the opposite sex or anyone other than your mate, then you should limit your contact with that one to only what is necessary and keep all encounters on purely professional level. Try not to focus on ways you think this person is superior to your mate. Instead focus on your mates positive qualities. Then try also to reflect on the basic reasons why you fell in love with your mate then ask yourself if those beautiful attributes has been lost or is it just you who has failed to see them anymore.
Take the initiative to make whatever needed adjustment your relationship would need to survive any great storm in your marriage.
Whether your marriage is stable or strained, your mate need to know that you are committed to making the marriage a success. Try as hard as you to convince your mate that you want your marriage to succeed no matter what comes it way.
Divorce should not be an option when there is a difficulty in your marriage make sure you try to resolve all minor problems before they blow up and become bigger problems that can lead to dissolving of a happy union, remember also that God is the originator of marriage, so when there is a heavy storm in the boat of a marriage then practical advice should be sort from the bible.
Read this book and apply all its advice and you find yourself more committed to your mate, and you derive the best from your mate and that will lead to a more fulfilling and happy marriage. In a marriage, misunderstanding that can sometimes lead to a quarrel is not always unusual especially when the couples just got married. these two individuals(husband and wife) are people from different family background, race, religion, ethnic, and so many differences that might exist between them before they married. in each of the households issues are handled differently matters are treated in different ways, standards and values are different, with different upbringing and training.
With the above enumerations you can be able to deduce that a misunderstanding or even quarrel must exist between them till they understand each other perfectly, accept their new roles as members of a new family and create a new set of standards and values.
When couples get married, there is always struggle and battle for supremacy, who should set acceptable standards and values, who should lead, and who should be lead? those are always subject for their battles for supremacy.
cultures vary from place to place about the acceptable answer as to who should lead, but our concentration here is not who should lead, but how to resolve a resultant dispute that might arise in a family.
There are practical advice to follow, like the bible says, women should be in subjection to their own husbands. from that statement its obvious that the man should take the lead.
When you get married, there are certain characters your spouse will exhibit that you would never believe he is capable of. this happens because a relationship is like looking at a white paper with little stain on it from a distance, you can hardly see the stain, so when in courtship, those traits that are like a stain on a white paper will never show until after marriage, when you bring the white paper closer you will be able to see the stain, likewise after marriage when you start living together you will then see those bad behaviors you never knew existed.
When there is a misunderstanding, try to settle it before it will generate to a quarrel, if your partner exhibits fits of anger and start raing abusive speech on you, it takes only your inner strength to be able to avoid picking a quarrel and returning the insult.
What you need do is, no matter what he says, before answering, smile, make sure you smile deeply and also from the heart, then take a deep breath in, and then exhale gently, then with your smile still on you, try to sue for peace.
When you do that and you get the process your partner will notice that you are not in the mood for a fight and will surely be embarrassed and also sue for peace, even apologizing and asking for forgiveness.
Some people think that it springs from a sense of duty but it takes more than that. Commitment can be likened to the mortar that binds the bricks of a sturdy house. Mortar is made from a combination of ingredients such as sand, cement, and water. Similarly, commitment is formed from a combination of factors such as, trust and friendship. But that bond can equally be weakened, lets find out how.
The Challenges:
Commitment in itself requires a lot of hard work, and self Sacrifice, and readiness to forgo your own preferences so to please your mate. Although some might think that the idea of pleasing the other partner than oneself and giving without asking back is outdated and out of fashion, but if your family happiness is important to you, then the principle of self sacrifice will not be option to you. Marriage also demands a lot of hard work and patience, in some cases even marriage mates who are unselfish do not always acknowledge each other anxieties or value their mates sacrifices. it could be disastrous because when a couple fails to show appreciation for each other, their marriage is bound to cause them tribulation in their flesh than it would otherwise. so in other for your marriage to survive hard times and thrive smoothly, you need to develop a long term view of your relationship. But you might be committed to your relationship and your mate is not, so how can you equally make your mate to be committed to the relationship as well?
How To Strengthen Commitment
1). Make Your Marriage A Priority: we all have priorities, and we all equally have scale of preference, to maintain a healthy family life, your marriage should come second to nothing in your overall scale of preference (you can read the bible book of Philippians 1:10) the bible calls it more important thing. God also values the way husband and wife treat each other. And you gain favor from God when you treat each other with respect. Your mate should come first in anything you do in your life. Try and ask yourself, How much time do I set aside for my mate? Ask yourself again, what specific thing have I done to reassure my mate that we are still good friend.The amount of time you invest in your relationship really matters to your mate because it shows how much committed you are to the relationship.
Try and find out from your mate to know how the other partner feels you are taking the relationship, to do this in a practical way, take a piece of paper and write down the following, Money, Work, Entertainment, Marriage, and Friends. Then mark what you believe to be your spouses priorities and ask your mate to do the same, then exchange the list, by so doing you will find out what your mate feels is taking more of your attention, then discuss with your mate to find out if there is a way to make amend that is if something else seems to be taking priorities other than your mate. Also try to find out what catches more of your mate interest in other to make him or her happier.
2) Avoid All Forms Of Infidelity: Try and avoid anything that might lead to unfaithfulness. if we remember the words of Jesus in the Bible book of (matthew5:28)when you keep looking at a woman to have passion for her you have already committed adultery with her in your heart, and that applies to women too. Adultery is a seed, when it is sown in the heart and is regular watered then it becomes fertile, then the heart will be led astray. Pornography is one tool that can lead the heart astray, some think that it is an adult movie, but truthfully, it is a film for young children and youth who are scared of tomorrow. So for you to avoid infidelity in your marriage, you must make a solemn vow never to watch pornography with or without your mate.
Dangers of pornography: It presents women as mere sex toys, and the performances there might be difficult for your mate to carry out, and you may start feeling you married the wrong person because the Bible says that expectation postponed is making the heart sick. So pornography presents a feeling of self worthlessness to the one watching it. So try and make a covenant with your eyes never to view anything displeasing to your mate present or not.
Try and guard your heart from forming an inappropriate attachment to a member of the opposite sex. you might consider it to be a harmless friendship, but remember that you can not tell the other person mind and motive, and secondly, the heart is very deceptive and can lead one astray before one can get hold of his senses.
Ask your self the following questions: To whom am I most attracted to, my spouse or to someone else? With who do I share good news first-my spouse or someone else? if my mate ask me to limit my contact with an associate of the opposite sex, how would I react? would I be resentful or would I happily make the requested change? These and many more are what you ask yourself to evaluate your relationship with anyone other than your mate.
If you find yourself attracted to a member of the opposite sex or anyone other than your mate, then you should limit your contact with that one to only what is necessary and keep all encounters on purely professional level. Try not to focus on ways you think this person is superior to your mate. Instead focus on your mates positive qualities. Then try also to reflect on the basic reasons why you fell in love with your mate then ask yourself if those beautiful attributes has been lost or is it just you who has failed to see them anymore.
Take the initiative to make whatever needed adjustment your relationship would need to survive any great storm in your marriage.
Whether your marriage is stable or strained, your mate need to know that you are committed to making the marriage a success. Try as hard as you to convince your mate that you want your marriage to succeed no matter what comes it way.
Divorce should not be an option when there is a difficulty in your marriage make sure you try to resolve all minor problems before they blow up and become bigger problems that can lead to dissolving of a happy union, remember also that God is the originator of marriage, so when there is a heavy storm in the boat of a marriage then practical advice should be sort from the bible.
Read this book and apply all its advice and you find yourself more committed to your mate, and you derive the best from your mate and that will lead to a more fulfilling and happy marriage. In a marriage, misunderstanding that can sometimes lead to a quarrel is not always unusual especially when the couples just got married. these two individuals(husband and wife) are people from different family background, race, religion, ethnic, and so many differences that might exist between them before they married. in each of the households issues are handled differently matters are treated in different ways, standards and values are different, with different upbringing and training.
With the above enumerations you can be able to deduce that a misunderstanding or even quarrel must exist between them till they understand each other perfectly, accept their new roles as members of a new family and create a new set of standards and values.
When couples get married, there is always struggle and battle for supremacy, who should set acceptable standards and values, who should lead, and who should be lead? those are always subject for their battles for supremacy.
cultures vary from place to place about the acceptable answer as to who should lead, but our concentration here is not who should lead, but how to resolve a resultant dispute that might arise in a family.
There are practical advice to follow, like the bible says, women should be in subjection to their own husbands. from that statement its obvious that the man should take the lead.
When you get married, there are certain characters your spouse will exhibit that you would never believe he is capable of. this happens because a relationship is like looking at a white paper with little stain on it from a distance, you can hardly see the stain, so when in courtship, those traits that are like a stain on a white paper will never show until after marriage, when you bring the white paper closer you will be able to see the stain, likewise after marriage when you start living together you will then see those bad behaviors you never knew existed.
When there is a misunderstanding, try to settle it before it will generate to a quarrel, if your partner exhibits fits of anger and start raing abusive speech on you, it takes only your inner strength to be able to avoid picking a quarrel and returning the insult.
What you need do is, no matter what he says, before answering, smile, make sure you smile deeply and also from the heart, then take a deep breath in, and then exhale gently, then with your smile still on you, try to sue for peace.
When you do that and you get the process your partner will notice that you are not in the mood for a fight and will surely be embarrassed and also sue for peace, even apologizing and asking for forgiveness.
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